35 degrees-Italian cars won't start.
Irishmen drive with the windows down.

20 degrees-Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.
Irishmen throw on a T-shirt.

15 degrees-Californians begin to evacuate the state.
Irishmen go swimming.

Zero degrees-New York landlords finally turn up the heating.
Irishmen have the last BBQ before it gets cold.

10 degrees below zero-People in Miami cease to exist.
Irishmen lick flagpoles.

20 degrees below zero - Californians fly away to Mexico.
Irishmen throw on a light jacket.

80 degrees below zero-Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic.
Irish Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

100 degrees below zero-Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Irishmen pull down their ear-flaps.

173 degrees below zero - Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Irishmen get frustrated when they can't thaw their Guinness.

297 degrees below zero-Microbial life start to disappear.
Irish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

460 degrees below zero - ALL atomic motion stops.

Irishmen start saying "is it just me or is there a nip in the air?"

500 degrees below zero-Hell freezes over.
IRISHMEN SUPPORT ENGLAND IN THE WORLD CUP